Deck

We have a fabulous deck at our house, huge, but we have been grossly under utilizing it. Until now! Well, I have used the grill quite a few times, but we never enjoyed a meal or just sat out there. Recently, I bought these plastic chairs because I really wanted to spend some time outside. I think they are great, and they only cost $15 each (at lowes).


Then, last weekend (while I was in CO), Judy (a co-worker), who is addicted to yard sales (she buys old furniture and refinishes it and sells it and makes a killing!), found this patio set for me at one of the sales. She got me this little number for just $40!!! I saw a set like this at Lowe's for around $200! Yeah, it's used and not perfect, but the price was unbeatable. Matt said that he would paint it for me when he painted the VW pan with the x-o-rust paint, then it will be just like new.


Here's a pic of the whole set-up. It still needs work (like some flower boxes and other accessories), but I think a huge improvement over the "nothing" that was there before. It's perfect in the evening, because the deck faces the east and you don't get the blarring sun, just the nice shade. I can't wait to have some out-door get-togethers to enjoy this space.

Blast from the Past!

This past weekend was my 10 year High School reunion! Crazy how time flies!! At first I wasn't sure if I could go (expensive plane ticket!), but then I found a pretty good fare out of a different airport...

Anyway here are some pics of all the fun:

Me and Lisa all dolled up

Pre-reunion drink (I just had water)

Friends at Old Town Square

Me and Lizzy

Me and Marianne

Rocky

Funny story to go along:

There was supposed to be a "buffet" at the reunion, but it was more of just hors devours. So, we were pretty hungry after it all died down. We (Lisa and I) decided to meet some friends at Old Chicago (very yummy) for $2 pizzas. We got there and were introduced the the "new" friends at the table, one of which looked SO familiar. Turns he and another guy at the table went to Elementary school with me! We even rode the same bus to school. I felt great because they totally remembered me! Even where I got off the bus. We went to school together from kindergarten to 8th grade together, at which point my fam moved and I attended a different Junior High and High School.

All in all, a great weekend for reconnecting with friends, even older friends and a great hometown (I REALLY miss good ol' "Fort Fun").

Our Struggle

Let me just start by saying this is not a sob story and that by writing all this down I’m not looking for pity. In reality, I’m hoping it will be therapeutic to me.

Some of you know (and lots don’t) that Matt and I have been struggling with infertility for quite some time now. We have been “trying” to get pregnant for over 2 years. Many think our lack of children in by choice, but could not be farther from the truth! We both want to have a family more than anything else! After the first year passed, we decided that we should get tested to see if we could figure out what the problem was. We have both been through numerous (many painful!) tests that all show that there are no problems. I even had surgery last fall because my doc suspected that I had a “blocked tube”. Turns out I have a “text book” uterus (yes, a doc really said that to me… I’ve also heard that my uterus is “very pretty”, but that’s kinda creepy and weirded me out...) and everything is in its perfect state and all functioning correctly. So, we fall into like a .01% of people that have “unexplained infertility”.

We have seen many doctors and tried every method imaginable. I’ve taken clomid, have had hormone shots and we have done the IUI (intra-uterine-insemination) procedure 3 times, and after the last failure we were recommended to see a doctor specializing in reproductive endocrinology (aka the in-vetro doctor). I went in for my first appointment with the new doc in May. We talked about all the tests we’ve done and things we’ve tried that had brought us to this point. He examined me and I had yet another ultra sound (I have completely lost track of how many of these I’ve had… probably enough for 5 or 6 pregnancies). He also came to the conclusion that everything looked to be function correctly and in tip-top shape. I was then instructed to have Matt go in for more blood work and another semen analysis and I was to call in on my “day 1” to schedule blood work for “day 3”. Matt has been wonderful and went in for his testing and I waited for “day 1”.

To my total amazement and happiness “day 1” never came!!!! I took about 5 home pregnancy tests and they all came back positive! I was in total shock and in a state of total happiness (mostly that we were adding a new member to our family, but also that this happened without the in-vetro price tag)! I immediately called Matt; he was SO excited. We both told our families and a few friends, we wanted to wait a bit before making a public announcement.

Then, the worst happened. I noticed some spotting around week 8-ish. I called the doc and they seemed to think that the bleeding was “normal”. I was told to watch it and come in if it got worse or if I started having cramps. I kept telling myself that everything was normal and it was all going to be ok. Not quite a week later, while at work, I started to bleed again, this time a fair amount. I immediately left work and went to the doc. They took about an hour and a half to see me, but by that time Matt was able to be there. As they did the ultra sound, the doc was unable to find a heartbeat or even a fetus. I had an empty little sac in my uterus. We were completely crushed! I can’t even explain the depths of my sadness. They ran some blood work and I came back a week later for another ultra sound. At this time my doc decided that I should have a d & c to get me “all cleaned out”. I decided to go ahead with this because it was torture just sitting at work waiting to “miscarry”. This was last week and I’m still trying to recover. I think my uterus will recover much faster than my heart. Right now, I’m a mixture of emotions. I’m angry, I’m extremely sad, and I feel completely hopeless. I’m not trying to be a total downer, but I think I am entitled to my feelings right now. I know that miscarriages are unfortunately common and that I am not the first person to go through this, but this has been such a long and hard road for me and Matt.

So, what now? I don’t know.

Again, I am NOT looking for pity. I am just hoping that by writing this down I can get over it all and move on.

Thank you to all of you that have been praying for us. I’m sorry if this sounds selfish, but please don’t stop; my faith needs help right now.

Gifts and Thanks

Thank you to my mom for these beautiful flowers!!


And a big thanks to Patrick for the heavenly "Great Wall of Chocolate" (arguably the worlds most perfect food...). Who can resist mountains of chocolate and delicious berries!


Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming!! (I still need them).

Flowers

Thanks Camille & Gregg!

Pig

Matt recently got the new Weezer "Red" album. So, it has been playing for several days in the car. One song is called Pig, it's a very sad song. It starts off with the pig talking about this childhood and how he played with his friends in the mud. He goes on to tell how he fell in love and got married and had babies. Then, he states that now he has to die, but he's ok with it because he's had a good life. He doesn't blame the farmer, but thanks him for bringing him food scraps to eat. Anyway, very sad. We were listening to that particular song in the car the other day on our way to Salsaritas. When we got to the restaurant I promptly ordered a pork burrito. I felt bad for only a minute, then I thoroughly enjoyed my burrito.

How bad am I???

p.s. Matt ordered a "pig" burrito too!!